September 2010
1 post
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Part Eight: The Way You Felt
Weeks went by, which eventually turned into months. Nothing much changed in that time, except Duke and Felicia becoming closer, and me receding farther away as a result. It couldn’t be helped; such a thing was usually inevitable in these types of situations, but the facts still didn’t bring me any farther away from the truth: Not only was I growing apart from them, I eventually became...
February 2010
7 posts
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Part Seven: What My Dreams Could Show You
It seemed that when the days went by easy, the nights were treacherous. I began to have trouble separating my dreams from reality as I struggled to break free from the barriers that held me hostage within my own damaged mind. The odds were against me; for me it was a losing battle, as each and every time I tried to escape I was left trapped inside, hopelessly clawing to get out. WARNING: Some...
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Part Six: Step Right Up
The days after my anxiety attack left me wondering slightly about my own personal sanity. Nevertheless, I went to school and lived every day as normal, hoping that no one could tell just by looking at me that I was going through such internal struggles. I made a point of deliberately trying to man-up and bear with it, convincing myself that it would pass and that I didn’t need anyone to help...
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Part Five: As I'm Falling Behind
Now that Duke knew about my tainted home environment, I found myself struggling with a lot of mixed emotion. I almost felt bad for not telling him earlier, but at the same time I still wished that he never knew. I felt exposed, like everything I’d ever held inside was suddenly on display, and if my dad ever found out that I had said anything I’d probably be killed. But above all, my...
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Part Four: We Shouldn't Have To Pretend
The days passed. I went to school as usual, and for the rest of the week I made sure to wear a beanie so that nobody could see the wound on my scalp. I didn’t know what would happen if anyone found out that I was being beaten at home, and frankly I didn’t want to. I’d lived with it this long; things had been the same since almost as far back as I could remember - and as far as I...
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Part Three: Justify
I didn’t want to go home, but I knew I had to. Some things you just can’t avoid no matter how much you want to. I’ve learned that some things in life don’t have an alternative; they just don’t have the contrast of black and white. Sometimes you only have two choices: you either give in, or die fighting.
Part Three.
I tried to quell the shaking in my hands and legs...
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Part Two: Destined To Fail
Sometimes a fear can be overcome by being exposed to whatever it is that scares you. Being desensitized is one of the more common ways to deal with fears. For some it might be a gradual process that fades slowly, while others might find that they will have it conquered in a very short amount of time. As for me, I suffered with a chronic fear that couldn’t be cured. Not a day went by where I...
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Part One: There's No Way To Fake What You've Been...
I stood and stared at my own reflection in the wall mirror. My dark brown eyes appeared warm and friendly, softly complimenting the gentle medium-brown color of my hair that reached just past my shoulders. The warm afternoon sun shone in through my bedroom windowpane and lit the area of the floor on which I stood. Absentmindedly brushing my long hair away from my face, I smiled. Life was good when...